‘Saving Lewis and Clark’ isn’t on CBS without lottery money
Monday, October 22, 2018 -- (Long Beach, CA) -- If Arnold convinces That Jon Guy to pull strings, perhaps a Cowboy Broadcast System will air nightly five-minute ads before the news, showing a dork ride a horse across America. “Everybody, please,” will say Tom Just Tom, “don’t count on it.”
“Saving Lewis and Clark” features a married couple -- Lori and December -- and the dork named Larry, who again wins the lottery... bigger than his first time.
Now, the couple’s friend must keep absurd promises, to ride a horse across this great nation, and wear a funny hat, or That Jon Guy will humiliate the dork, until he shells out millions to run together against a Sexist-Pig-in-Chief, President Dick Bomber. (President Who?)
Lori Lewis and December Carrera return as the romantic lead for their fifth novel, but once again, hatred spewed from the White House or during an earlier confirmation hearing show social butchery that suggests the “Post Gender” genre remains mere fiction.
In this new genre, love and courage outrank hatred and division. The heroism of Lieutenant Lori Lewis will shine, and her wife’s navigation skills will make December (and their son, Riley) look like Sacajawea.
Who’s Arnold? And That Jon Guy? And Tom Just Tom? Or that Clark in the title? That sounds like a bunch of men. And possibly real men, who might look and act like men. What’s so “Post Gender” about that? (Or, them?)
Love is not defined by what you are, but who is in your heart. Courage is shown by the soul. Lori and December are, indeed, women, just as Larry and Arnold and those others are men. (And hopefully, really funny men.)
Why, that sounds like comedy. Why not win $1.6 billion in tomorrow’s lottery and shell out that money to produce an absurd television series? Well, here’s an obvious answer. Novels start on Day One, and since Day Two will likely include tossing tickets in the trash, the best plan is to keep writing. Unlike the lottery, novels aren’t finished by dreams.
The First Rule of Politics is that, Time is inexorable. “You either use it, or lose it.” Creating fiction of an absurd presidential campaign -- to act as a national catharsis that ousts hateful and division -- means a writer better get to work right now. Writing sixty or seventy thousand words would lay text perhaps by late next year.
By that time, it will be clear whether the President faces an open primary battle, and who among the opposition is elbowing their way up the ladder. Anyone serious about weighing in on the 2020 presidential election better be in full-speed action now.
While the dream of winning $1.6 billion -- that’s with a B -- tomorrow sure would be nice, perhaps the inexorable ticking of time makes Day One worth just a little more.
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